but there are so many issues id like to address on the subject...
*warning* prop 8 discussed below.
since moving to the city of angels, i have had to deal with a few issues i never used to think were issues. as many of you know, proposition 8, a california proposition to define marriage as only recognized as being between a man and a woman, was passed on the ballot by a 52% majority in November. the same people who elected your man obama... helped pass this law. now what i have difficulty understanding is not the difference of opinion that circulates around this issue. I fully know and accept that many people will not only disagree with my opinion on this subject, they may hate me for it. without knowing anything about me, other than that i dont believe marriage is anything other than one man and one woman, they hate me.
i find this ironic on so many levels.
i made a video on youtube at the request of a friend who was compiling videos of YES on 8ers. i stopped reading the comments after a very short period of time because they were so hateful and ignorant. see the video (and the comments, if you like) here. in the video, i talk about having gay friends and how me voting yes has no bearing on my love for them. my purpose in making the video was not to convince anyone of my view point, but merely to express that you arent a bad person for feeling conflicted about the issue, and that voting yes doesnt make you hateful or mean or ignorant. it just means you have one reason or another for believing that marriage is between one man and one woman only. many of the comments say that there is no way i could possibly have gay friends and if i did, they would hate me for voting yes.
fortunately, i choose better friends than that. it, in fact, is not a lie when i say i have MANY gay friends. all of whom, even through disagreements, can see more to me than a "yes" or "no" vote on a proposition, many of whom, even understand why i would vote the way i did. they respect me. i respect them. respect does not require agreement. to tell me, and millions of others like me, that we should be ashamed of ourselves (see sean penn's acceptance speech at the oscars) for voting yes on prop 8 is arrogant, discriminatory, and, in my opinion, lacks fundamental understanding and is, therefore, ignorant. these people say things like "i dont understand how anyone could vote yes on this." isnt THAT the definition of being ignorant? being educated on an issue means understanding and appreciating both sides of it while maintaining your personal point of view. i fully understand the other side. i respect the fact that millions of californians voted no on proposition 8 and fully support their right to do so. however, democracy was exercised. if it had gone the other way, which i am certain in the coming years it will, i would never dream of trying to use a backdoor to negate the will of the people.
i get so tired of hearing that yes on 8 "took away the rights of gay couples to marry," hearing it called a "gay marriage ban," or that WE were the ones changing the constitution. and everyone just sits by and buys that. these statements take the entire issue out of context -- lest we forget that up until a few months ago, homosexual marriage wasn't recognized in the state of california or any other US state for that matter. the only reason making this proposition was necessary was because those on the NO side pushed, through the backdoor, i might add, for gay couples to have the right to marry. To consider it a ban is to insinuate that at one point it was valid and recognized by the consensus of the people -- which was never the case.
honestly, even now, i dont know what the appropriate solution is. i hate that this is even an issue at all. it is difficult for me to see the conflicting feelings, in both my friends and those who hate me. i cant imagine it would ever be easy to feel, even if your opponents dont see it that way, like your rights arent being respected. which is fundamentally what i believe BOTH sides were feeling throughout this issue. i know it will take time, but i believe that consensus among the people can be found.
the argument that religious people were trying to force their beliefs on everyone else is just ludicrous to me. seems more like the leftists were trying to force their agenda on the people of california, and the people of california fought back. frankly, i DONT have to accept homosexuality as being okay. i can love my friends who are gay and not agree with them. to me, its no different than having a friend who has a different religion than me. loving them and being their friend has little bearing on the fact that i will likely never, religiously speaking, see eye to eye with them. i can still respect them without ever agreeing with them.
finally, i have one last bone to pick. its partially directed at other mormons, and partially directed at those who criticize my church for getting behind this issue. ill address the latter first. churches have every right and i would argue moral obligation to get behind moral issues. its what they do. its one of the many purposes they serve. as a member of my church, i was asked to assist in the effort to pass this proposition. considering that this law is inherently consistent with religious teaching, this request was by no means out of line or inappropriate. never once, in all the discussions we had on the subject, did i feel anyone harbored malice or anger towards the opposing side. there was no hatred being taught. we love homosexuals. we love all people. we love all people equally. we know this is a difficult struggle with many conflicting emotions and points of view. but anyone who understands the bible, and the nature of God, also knows that to accept immorality and to justify it is to deny his commandments. that said, im not asking anyone to not be gay. if you are gay, i respect you and i believe you have the right to the pursuit of happiness. im not even asking you to give up your fight if you feel like marriage is what you need to feel equal. but dont tell me im wrong. im not telling you you're wrong. i think its only appropriate to agree that we have different paradigms on the subject.
as for members, those of you who like to write notes on facebook or blogs about how "wrong the church was in getting behind this," especially those of you who reside outside of the state of california... all i can say is... you have NO idea what you're talking about. you weren't here. i find it offensive that you can judge the PEOPLE OF CALIFORNIA who love and respect their prophet who chose to follow his counsel and do everything they could to help with the yes on 8 efforts. saying that the prophet has "no right" to provide direction and counsel to the Church regarding moral issues couldnt be more wrong. i think that that is his PRIMARY purpose. what would be the point of having a prophet at all if he DIDN'T do those things? and as for saying that we shouldnt have done this because now the Church will be persecuted... did you ever learn church history? did you ever read the bible? the book of mormon? when have prophets and the followers of prophets NOT been mocked, scorned, and persecuted for their beliefs? to say these things ignores everything we know to be true as Latter-day Saints. i stand firmly behind the family. protecting that with every cell of my being. i would devote a million more hours to supporting the yes on 8 campaign in a heartbeat. for you, of all people, to belittle this effort is very degrading in my opinion. you are entitled, although not able to vote, to have your opinion on the subject. but please, dont be so condescending -- insinuating that you are such a more "understanding" or "enlightened" mormon because you dont support this. these attitudes foster all the problems and misunderstandings i listed above. your attitudes make it seem like we just "havent gotten to your level of understanding" when really i would argue... you havent made it to ours.
the official position of the church was, and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, to support traditional marriage. no one was ever commanded to vote yes on the issue. we are counseled and we must always decide for ourselves what we can reconcile in our own hearts, to be the right thing to do. i would never judge anyone for how they voted last November, nor how they feel about the issue now. i expect that same courtesy.
